So you wanna be a cyclist? (in the Netherlands)
Here’s what I think your bike probably says about you:
A bike that makes lots of strange noises means:
I’m probably a student. I can still ride it so why bother getting it fixed?
A bike with low handle bars means:
I’m so incredibly sporty and athletic and I need to get to wherever I’m going (probably the gym or hockey club) very quickly.
A mountain bike means:
I’m confused about the terrain of the country I live in.
A bike with paniers on the back means:
90% of the time there’s nothing in here, sometimes I use them for groceries.
A bike with lots of notices on it means:
I often leave my bike in places I shouldn’t.
A bike with no working lights means:
I have incredibly good night vision and will take my chances on the €50 fine.
A bike with more than three gears means:
This bike is imported from Germany/Austria/The UK/Switzerland.
A bike without gears means:
I am an architect. I don’t care if I have to cycle like a maniac downhill because this machine is so beautiful and hipster.
A bike with someone on the back means:
How the hell did he/she get there? Oh well, I can’t be bothered asking them to leave.
A Bakfiets means:
I’m ok with putting my child in a wheelbarrow on the front of my bike.
An Omafiets (literally, “grandma bike”) means:
I was cool in high school, man this bike is comfortable.
Holding hands with someone on a bike means:
Could I be any more PDA right now?
A bike with handle bars that you don’t use means:
There are better things I could be doing with my hands right now; texting, eating a sandwich, reading a newspaper, holding a child.
A tandem means:
I’m on a cycling holiday, or I’m an old married couple (I really saw this recently and it melted my heart a little bit).